The Hope of Winning
By Oana Lis
Ever since we were small children, we were taught and so programmed that when we won something we were valuable, we were validated by those around us, and if we lost something, it was our own fault and something we had done wrong.
So from an early age, the expectation of winning was instilled in us and winning seen as a value of personal success. Instead of being taught in a healthy way that it is the experience that counts, the participation in any competition, event, the journey to something, not the destination, we, in our family and school environment, were valued solely on results.
No wonder, then, that as adults, in the same way, we chase after winning in any field like the Morgana Fairy and we put all our hopes and all our energy into proving that we are valuable, we deserve to be loved because we have won something.
And the same kind of conscious and unconscious thinking is also molded in the thinking of those who gamble.
*Gambling should be fun, not a way to earn a living.* (Mario Puzo)
Theoretically, we know, we hear how you should play, how you should look at the game, but the mental and emotional processes that take place in those moments are beyond us, like when you have an orgasm, you are not in control of everything, because we only have a small percentage of the conscious brain, over 90% are mental processes that take place in the subconscious.
Therefore, we must not judge those who play harshly, but try to understand them, support them to find a balance, be with them in a positive and proactive way.
*Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to give up, that’s strength.* (Arnold Schwarzenegger)
About 10 years ago, the idea that someone could become addicted to gambling was controversial and difficult to accept. Now it is good that there is free discussion, there is research in the field, there are therapists, there is print media, like this article, and there is information, so people can be informed about what can happen and so they can make the best decision for them.
Those who fall more and often into *sin* as they say are those who have impulsive behavior and place more emphasis on immediate pleasure and do not see the long-term consequences.
*The game is twice as fun as the money.*
People need to understand these mental processes and know themselves in order to make personal choices. The dopamine of desire released in the brain overpowers the rational parts of the brain at those times. And this is not related to a person’s IQ, what schools he has and what field and environment he belongs to, it is simply something physical and specific to us, humans.
The hope of winning and the related illusion given by the possibility of winning is so deep that any behavior that has this goal becomes very powerful.
*Hope to recover is the player’s ruin.*
What is Hope!? Hope is a hope, an emotional belief in a positive outcome of events and circumstances of all kinds in a person’s life. Hope is a feeling of confidence in the favorable resolution of an action, in the realization of a personal desire.
To hope has the definition – *feeling that something much desired which may not happen, nevertheless will actually happen.*
Very logical, right!?…. So, we notice that the definition of the concept of hope includes a large dose of subjectivity.
The Hope of Winning
The American Psychological Association defines hope as *the expectation that one will have positive experiences or that a potentially threatening or negative situation will not materialize or will ultimately result in a favorable state.*
Sometimes personal ego, pride in excessive doses make some gamble more than they can afford, hoping for a win, but they end up not enjoying a present win, because they want to recover from the past and so on, as in a circle full of emotions and calculations and hopes.
Many make calculations and think that only they can beat the game and this inner belief and hope becomes very strong in some.
*Luck is too little and the world too much.* (Ion Luca Caragiale)
*If you have to play, decide from the beginning three things – the rules of the game, the stake and the time you will quit.*
Dopamine, this brain substance that is released when there is a strong reward, that comes from certain foods, from sex, from certain substances and from play is released naturally, it’s a physical process that we can feel very attracted to, it’s something very powerful and can influence our other mental processes.
*You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start from where you are and change the ending.* (CS Lewis)
No one starts gambling with the idea of losing. Everyone hopes to win, but, logically, they cannot all win at the same time.
*Sometimes a dash of luck does more than a trick of the mind.* (Miguel de Cervantes)
*He who does not know how to enjoy luck when he finds it, has no right to complain when it leaves him.* (Miguel De Cervantes)
Gambling is a way to spend time, to have fun, to play, to get out of everyday life, which any adult can practice. However, it is important to understand what the game means, to approach this activity with maturity and responsibility.
